


and he did just that.

by innersanctuaries



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Civil War, M/M, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, This is just sad okay, Winter Soldier Bucky, mentions of stucky - Freeform, steve rogers - Freeform, the first avenger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 19:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: Everything that Bucky Barnes did and didn't do.





	and he did just that.

  In 1917, Bucky Barnes was born, screaming bloody murder. He didn't know much of anything yet, but he would. And when he did, he would wish time and time again that he would be back in 1917, clueless and new to this world.

 

  In 1924, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. He didn't know it yet, but Steve was important. All he knew then was that he was eight and Steve Rogers was someone to be protected. And he did just that.

 

  In 1928, Bucky Barnes was keeping Steve Rogers warm in the middle of the winter to make sure Steve would live to see another day. Bucky held Steve tightly, and it was as if he was clutching a block of ice to his chest. Steve still shivered. This was when Bucky realized that without Steve Rogers, he would be lost. That was the night that Bucky vowed to always put Steve's wellbeing before his own. And he did just that.

 

  In 1933, Steve Rogers' father died. Attending the funeral hurt, because he knew and loved the man. It stopped hurting and became agonizing when he held Steve close that freezing night, when he rubbed his back to soothe his heaving sobs. Bucky Barnes saw Sarah Rogers cry at the sight of the bills, comforted her that he would make sure she could pay to keep Steve alive. Bucky Barnes quit school to work at the docks, not entirely because _he_ needed the money, but because _Steve_ needed his medicine. He promised Sarah Rogers to do his damn best to keep her son alive. And he did just that.

 

  In 1936, Sarah Rogers died. Bucky Barnes hid his tears until after he saw Steve, after he held him as every bit of water in his small body fell from his lashes. Steve said he could manage on his own, and Bucky knew he could. That didn't stop him from worrying, or from pulling Steve into an enormous hug, trying to convey any and all emotions he felt. _'Til the end of the line'_ , he said, a promise to stay by his side. And he did just that.

 

  In 1939, the war started. Bucky Barnes was drafted. That night, he stayed away from Steve and got drunk enough to pass out in a back alley. Steve went white as a ghost the moment he saw Bucky's uniform. He tried to cheer Steve up with a double date, one neither of them wanted to go on. Bucky only had eyes for Steve the entire time. Steve had nearly tried to enlist again, and he couldn't do that, because Bucky had promised to keep him safe. But he couldn't, he was going off to fight. Bucky Barnes asked Steve Rogers not to do anything stupid while he was gone, and was met with a sarcastic remark. Bucky promised himself that he'd see Steve Rogers again. And he did just that.

 

  In 1939, all he felt was pain. People poked around in his brain, and Bucky Barnes became a number. _32557038_ was shocked over and over again, but he remembered. He had his number, a face, and a name that was not his own, a name worth remembering. Steve Rogers. Steve Rogers was the last person he thought he'd see, but he wasn't the skinny and short Steve he knew. Steve was big and strong and different, so different. But the same, he was also the same. Bucky Barnes remembered his name, and he learned Steve's new name. Bucky Barnes became Captain America's right hand man, a Howling Commando. Bucky Barnes told himself that he'd die for Steve. And he did just that.

 

  In 1944, Bucky Barnes fell from the train. He fell to keep Steve from going with him. As he fell, he realized he never told Steve Rogers that he was in love with him. A split second before he hit the ground, he cursed himself for not doing that.

 

  In 2014, The Soldier met Captain America. There was a sense of familiarity to him, but when he asked his Handler about it, he was tortured once more. The Soldier was told to kill Captain America, for he was a threat. The Soldier tried, but in the end, the words he spoke in a past life were repeated to him. _'Til the end of the line_ '. Steve Rogers fell, just as The Soldier had so many years ago. The Soldier saved him, making sure he'd survived. Bucky Barnes walked away, thinking of his promise to keep Steve safe. He cursed himself for not doing that.

 

  In 2016, Bucky Barnes was framed. Bucky had finally achieved a peaceful life, peace felt everywhere but his mind. But Steve showed up in his apartment after Bucky had found that damned newspaper, and he knew it was all going to go straight to hell. Bucky Barnes was the one to destroy The Avengers, with Steve fighting for the freedom and redemption Bucky didn't deserve. Bucky Barnes was forced to watch himself kill Tony Stark's parents, one of which had been his friend far before Tony had even been an idea in someone's head. Bucky Barnes lost his arm once more, and this time, he deserved it. Steve Rogers left his shield and his title on the floor as he picked Bucky up and dragged him to safety. Bucky Barnes had always told himself that he'd always be the one to protect Steve Rogers. He cursed himself for not doing that.

 

  In 2016, Bucky Barnes slept. Dressed in white, he said goodnight to Steve Rogers, the man he loved. Bucky held him as every bit of water in his strong, muscular body fell from his lashes. Steve was so strong, but he'd become fragile. Bucky Barnes feared he'd broken Steve, with no idea how to fix him. Bucky smiled and told Steve it would be alright, they would meet again. They'd both lived long, far too long, and he knew that Steve was just as tired as he was. But of the two of them, Bucky had always been the coward. So he escaped, trying his hardest to ignore the agonized look on Steve's face before Bucky went under. In the split second before he froze for the last time, Bucky Barnes realized he never told Steve Rogers he loved him. The last thing he thought was short and bitter and tasted of regret, all but five words.

  


_I couldn't even do that._

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all, I was looking through my computer for an essay I need to work on for tomorrow and stumbled across a rough, half finished fic. I'm way more into Sabriel now (and should probably be working on my WIP), but I couldn't just LEAVE THIS THERE!! Anyway, I really hope this turned out well and I really hope you guys like this!!
> 
>  
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> (Yes, I know that Steve's dad canonically died before he was born. Yes, past me completely forgot about that. No, I was not willing to take that bit out. My condolences.)
> 
>  
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> Comments both make me happy and keep me going!


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